Patpoh - The Truth Is Out There

ELIN NORDEGREN, 30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.
“The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life - even if Tiger dies first - or she’ll lose the lot.”
A pal said: “Tiger’s main fear is her telling her story after he’s rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter.”

Under the no-girlfriends deal, only married women not romantically linked to Tiger will be allowed around the children - plus female members of staff known to Elin.

I guess my mom raised me right. She was very celebratory of her body. I never heard her once say, “I feel fat.” Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous! I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, Oh, I look like a woman. And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, ’cause I loved it. [Laughs.]

Social workers will quiz her over claims she beat one with a belt and gave both food they were allergic to - making them violently ill. Investigators were approached by the singer's former bodyguard Fernando Flores - who claims he was forced to quit his job due to Britney's erratic behaviour

A source said: "Britney doesn't mean to be a bad mum. But Flores feels she has so many issues she can't be trusted around her boys. He claims the first really shocking incident was when she came marching into the pool house at her mansion and demanded his belt. He handed it over but then followed her into the main house and claims he witnessed the alleged incident."

Flores also accused Britney of feeding the boys food they were allergic to, including shellfish. The alleged incidents took place in late March or early April. Child protection agency workers tried to quiz her last week but she had left LA for a few days.

...the cop who took custody of the cocaine mistook it for a breath mint and threw it in the trash. Pretty incredible, but according to the Santa Monica Police report -- obtained by TMZ -- the officer "discovered a folded Clinique sun care card with an unknown substance caked on to the surface of the card in Lohan's right rear pocket."

The report goes on:  "Some of the white substance fell to the floor. I used my foot to see what had fell but thought nothing of it. I did not recognize the substance attached to the card and initially thought the substance was a wet crushed breath mint."

And now it gets good: "I put the card into the jail trash can next to the booking windows.  I was looking at the floor and began to recognize the substance as resembling powder cocaine. I then recovered the card from the trash."

The cop says the coke was in the trash for about 2 minutes. He put the card in an evidence envelope, then scooped up the coke that had fallen to the floor and placed it in a separate evidence envelope.

In short -- EVIDENCE CONTAMINATION!!!