Jennifer Hawkins Is A MILF

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Okay, okay she's not even a mom. But she sure looks like one in these pictures. Jennifer Hawkins was Miss Universe and she's only 26-years old. I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks so, but she looks like an aging cougar MILF in these pictures. Why does her face look so old?! And why is she wearing old people dresses? Her body tells my ogle goggles that she could be very hot in nothing other things but my eyes are betrayed by her cougar-face and towel.


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Madonna and Malawi Updates!

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On Firday, April 3, 2009, Malawian court denied Madonna's plea to adopt four-year-old Mercy. Turns out the pop queen is subject to residency requirement. The AP reports:

A judge who did not make the ruling but saw it and another lawyer present when the ruling was made said Madonna was rejected because of residency rules. Both spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the case.

Malawi adoption regulations require that prospective parents live in the southern African nation for at least 18 months.

The residency rule was waived in 2006, when Madonna was allowed to take her adopted son, David, to London before his adoption was finalized in 2008. It was not clear why Judge Esme Chombo ruled differently Friday. Another judge had handled Madonna's previous adoption case.


On Saturday, April 4th 2009, it is reported that Madonna lobbied the Malawian government officials and staff members of Raising Malawi. TMZ reported that she threw a party for them:

Government officials and staff members of Raising Malawi charity are on the guest list for the event, along with traditional dancers. No word if the judge who denied Madge will attend.

Madonna's lawyer said she will appeal Friday's judgment that she could not adopt a 3-year-old girl because she had not been a resident in Malawi.

This massive party looks like the start of her appeal, at least socially.


On Sunday, April 5, 2009, Madonna is said to have left Malawi for London. The AP reports:

Police roadblocks prevented reporters from approaching the airport but one police officer said Madonna carried David, her adopted Malawian son, up the steps of the Gulfstream jet.

It was bound for London's Gatwick Airport, air traffic officials said, speaking on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to journalists.

How much does a rich 50-year-old washed out cougar have to do to adopt a poor African kid, people?!




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Brooke Hogan Looks Older than Her Mom!

Brooke Hogan is spotted here shopping in Miami. The 20-year-old self-proclaimed D-lister looks awfully old. In fact, she looks older than her 49-year-old cougar mom, Linda.

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I don't like to put the cart before the horse, but believe me this girl is not going to age well.


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Demi Moore Get Punk'd

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Ashton Kutcher posted this pic of Demi Moore bent over in a bikini on his Twitter. Maybe Demi would realize how annoying to have a much younger husband after reading all these posts:

    watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
    9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

    I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious
    9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

    shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
    10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

That's all.
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Madonna Has Stop Cougaring

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Madonna has decided to end things with her 22-year-old boyfriend Jesus Luz after he was spotted partying in Rio with several females and reportedly hooked up with 19-year-old model Luciana Costa, according to the Daily Star:

As our insider explained: "Madonna has just come out of a very long and difficult relationship.
    "She was drawn to Jesus. But it was just a bit of fun and she's enjoyed herself. But she is growing bored of the relationship and her family comes first. He would ruin her chances of adopting again. And the pictures of him with Luciana made her realise that he'll be better suited to somebody his own age."

Somewhere Guy Ritchie is laughing so hard English Muffins shot out of his nose. That's the British way, folks. That's the British way.


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50 Going On 15: Madonna!

OMFG! Granny's back to school!

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Madonna attended the annual Kabbalah Purim party last night dressed like a goth Catholic schoolgirl. Does her 22-year-old  toy boy Jesus have a thing for granny in school uniform? Kinky!

I think the fact that the media has been saying Madonna knows well how to reinvent herself kind of get into her head. From Material Girl, Sex Bomb, Evita Peron, Gay Icon, Disco Yogi and err, Insane Granny?  


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Madonna's Mid-life Crisis

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Madgesty is having a mid-life crisis. Despite her fabulous mask, she has recently shown indications of a fragile old woman:

1.) Agree to perform on Britney Spears' tour
2.) Taking a lover named Jesus, who's a 22-year-old male model
3.) Spotted hanging out in a gay bar

Page Six reports:

Lady Madge stopped by Hell's Kitchen gay bar The Ritz on Monday to attend her trainer Tracy Anderson's birthday party when the DJ threw on a Spears track. "She flipped out, stormed upstairs, and spent the rest of the night aggressively making out with Jesus [Luz, her new boy toy]," says a spy.

Oh and:
4.) Having Page Six write 'aggresively making out'. Yuck.


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