:: PATPOH. BASED ON TRUE EVENTS, MAYBE. WHO KNOWS?

Lindsay Lohan's Passport Gets Stolen, Because That's Convenient

Lindsay Lohan's passport mysteriously got stolen. *roll eyes. Oh wow. Are you shocked? Cos I sure as hell am not. According to TMZ

Lindsay claims she actually went to the airport yesterday trying to get on a flight without a passport but was denied boarding. We're told she had a reservation on the flight so she could make it back to L.A. for tomorrow's mandatory court hearing.
Sources tell TMZ Lindsay has made an appointment with the U.S. Embassy tomorrow at 9 AM to get another passport so she can fly home.

Better still, Linday's lawyer made a hilarious, knee-slapping statement to TMZ:

"Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes and appear in court tomorrow."

She needs to do more alcohol education what, after trying to steal Amanda Seyfried's boyfriend? Loose biatch!

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Did Lindsay Steal Amanda Seyfried's Boyfriend?

So apparently LiLo is no cougar prey. She denied having a lesbian relationship with the cougar photographer who pulled a publicity stunt to promote an upcoming reality show.

HOWEVER Lindsay was spotted being all coy and flirty with Amanda Seyfried's boyfriend Dominic Cooper who was in Cannes to promote his new flick Tamara Drewe. According to E! News:

"They were having fun, paryting," an eyewitness tells E! News. "Lindsay was dancing."

Cooper is in town to hype his new film, Tamara Drewe; Seyfried, meanwhile, is back in the States promoting her new chick flick, Letters to Juliet.

At one point, Cooper was dancing on a couch while Lohan stood on the floor beneath him.

"They were being coy with each other," the clubgoer says. "Not really touch, but flirty. After Grace's performance the sat down at the table next to each other and were hanging out."

Then again, Amanda Seyfried had publicly suggested that Dominic Cooper probably isn't 'The One' and that LiLo hasn't grown up. Could this be a twist of karma coming to get Amanda? Meee-ow!